


We Were Kissing Gods

by ForbiddenToast



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: 8 things, Boys Kissing, M/M, i guess, is that even a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:21:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6051429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForbiddenToast/pseuds/ForbiddenToast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over the years Pete has accumulated lots of tips and tricks-of-the-trade on how one successfully kisses a Patrick Stump with (mostly) positive results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Were Kissing Gods

**Author's Note:**

> Idk anymore, but this was lying around in my drafts from some time in October and I decided to finish it. I'm not exactly happy with it (it was originally meant to be ten 'tips' but I got fed up) but I've spent too much time on it just to abandon it now. 
> 
> Title's from the B-side Crying Shame by Muse. It doesn't have much to do with the fic, I just like the song.

Over the years Pete has accumulated lots of tips and tricks-of-the-trade on how one successfully kisses a Patrick Stump.

Some tips come from years back, when he first met the endearing singer who was dressed in argyle and kissed him on the cheek while jumping up and down because, that kid’s voice was the band’s golden ticket. The reason why they were going to make it. And he was awesome; with his unlimited musical knowledge and hankering for ‘80’s movies.

Others though, are more recent like how Pete isn’t meant to kiss him silly on stage. _Apparently_ it’s _‘_ unprofessional’ and even having a slightly annoyed Patrick is enough to make the rest of the day a drag.

In fact, now, he’d probably proclaim himself the closest thing there is to a professional on the subject – heck, Pete could probably write a whole book on the subject. Filled with does and don’ts like what’s the fine line between leaving his boyfriend blushing and leaving him royally pissed off.

But if Pete was to put his years of experience into eight quick tips he’s pretty sure number eight would be something to do with sloppy kisses.

 

_#8 If sloppy, avoid sideburns._

This one’s an oldie, a classic even and doesn’t really apply anymore since it’s been ages since Patrick’s had those things but still. It was an important learning curve for Pete in the topic of all things Stump because Pete had had the misfortune of accidently leaving a sloppy kiss on a sideburn.

He hadn’t meant to, it was just he was buzzing from the show when it happened. The show had been amazing with people screaming their words back at them and the entire band had been feeding off of the energy of it all.

Pete had been hanging off of Joe’s shoulders, rambling about how ‘this was it’, thanking him again for convincing him that this band was a good idea and hollering about how this was only the beginning before he moved to a laughing Andy and all but flung himself onto him and kept saying that _he’d_ told Hurley that this was a good idea.

Then when he finally moved onto the flushed, sweaty and smiling vocalist he decided to go for a sloppy kiss on the cheek – nothing harmful or overly embarrassing and most of it had been on reflex. It was only meant to make Patrick stutter on his next word or whatever but then he’d moved at the last second. Making the kiss land on his sideburn.

And to be honest, Pete didn’t enjoy it much better than Patrick did. Even if he did make a joke about it tasting like week old strawberry shampoo.

Patrick however, didn’t see anything funny about the situation and complained for the next five minutes about personal space and _ew spit_ while rubbing angrily at the violated sideburn and glaring at Pete before saying “Don’t fucking do that again.”

Plus Patrick had spent the rest of the night pissy and refusing to go to a bar with everyone else and just being an overall killjoy so it’s still an important tip for Pete. Even if those sideburns don’t exist anymore.

 

_#7 Xs and Emojis_

Maybe this one doesn’t count as a _kissing_ tip per say but still, it’s an important aspect to Pete when they’re miles apart and he can’t physically kiss Patrick because he’s holed up in some hotel room halfway across the country.

Those nights are mostly spent in a nice hotel room with his phone surgically attached to his hand and constantly flickering between changing the song playing through the small speakers and texting Patrick. Who, no doubt, is doing something similar wherever he is except maybe he is working on something as well. And probably sleepy and fresh from a shower that Pete can’t be bothered moving to get.

Okay so maybe not doing something similar but whatever. Pete texts Patrick and Patrick texts back and that’s something similar that the both of them were doing.

And it was fine the first time after they finally got together. Adorable and too sweet and really, if Joe or Andy or anybody else was to ever read those texts they’d probably puke or use them for future blackmail. But it was undeniably them and it helped chase away the miles between them slightly.

It’s cute. And Pete feels like a giddy teenager flirting with someone way out of his league when he’s waiting for Patrick’s reply.

It’s only when Patrick says goodnight and signs off with a simple _‘I’m gonna go to sleep. Night. x’_ does Pete start to learn a new tip on how to kiss a Stump. Even if it’s only through a text.

Because does he reply with a simple ‘x’ as well and wish Patrick a goodnight’s sleep or is that too simple? Like he’s copying Patrick – because he’s had girls who’ve called him out on that before, although, to be honest that girl was slightly drunk (and pissed at his lack of responses) when she had.

So being the responsible adult he is, Pete goes for that overdue shower and _then_ replies…except he had a bath instead because they had that bubble bath shit he loves and a simple fifteen minutes turns into two hours of sweet, strawberry smelling soap.  And the dilemma of what to reply is still waiting for him once he’s slightly tired and watching a shopping channel trying to sell stuff no one wants.

And since his half asleep mind has no sensible logic at one in the morning Pete decides to play it safe; meaning he send a _‘goodnight rickster miss ya xx’_ and then proceeded to send random emojis that looked related in separate texts before passing out on top of the comfortable sheets.

And in response, when they met up the next day in L.A, instead of the kiss Pete had expected he’d been met by a sleepy Patrick, a half-assed punch to the shoulder and _then_ his sweet hello kiss he’d been waiting for. Before Patrick fixed the glasses sliding down his face and said “You so owe me coffee now, Wentz.”

Because as it turns out, Patrick had had the volume on his phone turned up during the night and had been woken up at quarter past one by a string of messages. Containing nothing but heart eyed and kissy emojis and even one or two to do with eggplants.

Later, over some much needed coffee, he’d laughed at Pete’s feeble excuse for the texts with, “An x would’ve been fine.” And then later snorted when Pete made a joke about eggplant inspired cream with an “I swear to god Pete…”

He wouldn’t repeat sending Patrick millions of emojis in the middle of the night instead of kisses anytime soon but it had caused a pretty funny morning over coffees and blueberry muffins before rushing to a meeting with the management team with crumbs and cold coffee cups in their hands. And both of them refused to acknowledge Joe’s curious look when they slid into their seats about the bit of whip cream in Patrick’s hair.

 

_#6 Softly_

Because both Pete and Patrick are softies, even if they both refuse to admit it.

And while heated and sloppy and even those weird ones that Pete gives at one in the morning where he misses Patrick’s mouth and ends up kissing his chin due to the moving bus, soft and sweet kisses are by far their favourite.

Especially when they’re at home and curled up in front of the TV and debating which Indiana Jones film is the best (and pretending to fall out when Patrick jokes and says Kingdom of The Crystal Skull) and they’re just slow and languid and not needing to be discrete about it at all. It’s calming and helps to keep them both smiling, even when the power’s cut out after Pete forgot to pay the bill after they got back from a recent tour.

It makes home feel homier.

 

_#5 Not On Stage_

This rule has been enforced and revoked so many times that it makes Pete’s head spin. Which is probably why it’s so high up the list. Unfortunately, at the minute it still stands and while Pete would love to kiss Patrick on the neck like he used to the backlash makes sure it isn’t worth it. At minimum he’ll receive the silent treatment for a couple of hours and worst case scenario Patrick’ll swap rooms with Joe on hotel nights without telling Pete…which has led to some very interesting phone calls to what he had assumed was Patrick’s room.

So yeah. No kissing on stage or mouthing the words into Patrick’s neck which isn’t exactly kissing but still gets the same response.

This rule had been reinforced quite recently, after about a month of wonderful opportunity to distract his boyfriend. Really, the kisses weren’t even that bad. A peck on the cheek at most, but it had made Patrick falter on the next line of _Centuries_ since he hadn’t expected the show of affection so it was back again. Much to Pete’s dread.

“People paid to see us,” Patrick had reasoned afterwards, in Pete’s bunk after he’d gone to sulk. “I just wanna put the best show possible on for them y’know?”

Pete didn’t know. The crowd had loved it and screamed but at that moment all Pete wanted was a hug and some quality time with is boyfriend so he agreed. Mumbling a “Yeah I get it dude.” Into his pillow.

 

_#4 On The Neck (In Private Places)_

This is one Pete should’ve seen coming when they first started dating because for years Pete had been teasing Patrick about his distaste of graphic violence involving the neck in films and about people (Pete) touching or poking his neck when he wasn’t expecting it.

 “It’s fucking weird dude,” Patrick had said after Pete had poked him in the neck one day to get his attention. “It’s like, it’s like one of the most weak – vulnerable – places on your body and it just freaks me out okay? Drop it.”

And so Pete had, in fact, dropped it. Until he’d trailed his lips down to Patrick’s neck one day and started nibbling and sucking on the pale skin there and holy fucking shit did that make Patrick loud. Eliciting a loud, slightly too loud for the thin walls of the hotel room, moan. And even made the blond-red head lean back a bit, exposing it a bit more, wrap his legs around Pete and grind his hips up desperately, which was a welcomed action to both of them.

So apparently Patrick didn’t mind having his neck touched that much then.

“I, I thought,” Pete started before giving the neck that was already turning a slight red another nip and let his fingers start working on Patrick’s stupid shirt that had way too many buttons. “I thought you were, _fuck_ , squeamish about the neck.”

“Oh _God_ ,” Patrick had started, head already burrowing back into the pillow beneath them and he sounded wrecked. Completely at mercy at whatever Pete was doing. “shut the hell up and get on with it.”

And really, who was Pete to argue with an argument as strong as that?

“Yessir.” Pete mumbled before getting back to work and finally, finally, getting that fucking annoying shirt off of Patrick and exposing even more skin to have fun with.

 

_#3 Before a show (if it’s semi-private)_

Again, this is a slightly new one but one Pete thinks is equally important nun the less. Because even to this day, Patrick can still get nervous before a big performance that he ends up practically wearing a hole in the carpet with his pacing feet.

And it would be adorable if Patrick wasn’t so close to breaking down next to a guitar tech.

So in this situation Pete has to intervene while Joe and Andy try to get poor guitar tech guy away from the rambling vocalist. It’s a joint effort most of the time and it always ends up with Patrick crumbling into Pete’s arms and claiming that he can’t do it. He’ll mess up and let everyone down and people will suddenly want their money back and no one will ever listen to them again.

And to this day, it still hurts Pete because if Patrick could see how great he really was he’d never say anything like that. He’d probably find a different boyfriend or maybe a new band if he could tear himself away from Fall Out Boy because that man’s got talent to spare.

 But yeah, Patrick usually ends up spewing self-conscious thoughts into Pete’s jacket before the show and the sound of the shouting fans or TV programme’s guests don’t help and Pete needs to take his mind off of it. Reassure him without words; because Patrick can argue with words so he does what he’s always done and kisses him until he shuts up.

Well, he hasn’t always done it but even before he had the freedom to do this, Pete would still kiss him on the cheek or forehead to reassure him – it’s the same idea, now he’s just allowed to kiss Patrick on the lips.

And it works too, because after he’s pulled away Patrick smiles and fucking _thanks him_. Like it was some chore Pete was forced to do. But he works with it. Maybe one day he’ll convince Patrick he’s as perfect as Pete sees him.

 

_#2 At the right moment_

This one, perhaps is the one Pete struggles with the most because he’s always been a man of impulse and acting whenever the opportunity might present itself.

But picking the right moment to kiss Patrick in any way, whether it be as a joke, meaningful or just to get him to be quiet is vital in getting a happy Patrick at the end of it and not a shy or annoyed one.

Though it’s usually only in public when Pete has to be careful about the timing of a kiss because he quickly discovered that Patrick wasn’t the kind of guy to exhibit a lot of PDA unless he was slightly tipsy or around people he knew extremely well.

This had gotten Pete into trouble a few times, mainly before they announced their relationship publically where Pete would play chicken with people and kiss Patrick in close proximity to the unknowing public – not that Patrick minded that much when they were actually kissing. He was usually too busy burying his hands in Pete’s jacket or shirt and giving back as good as he got with that talented mouth. But afterwards Pete would get the whole ‘we shouldn’t do that again’ but really, Pete was too busy paying attention to those gorgeous, pink lips and not enough attention to what was coming out of them that it actually took him a while to learn that lesson.

Pete’s personal favourite moment of getting the right moment, although going against the unspoken rule about PDA was somewhere in Europe.

They were walking along the cold streets of whatever town they were in and considering paying to go into that aquarium they had passed when they seen them. With their stupid, idiotic signs and megaphones that voiced opinions they really didn’t have reason to express in such a big way.  

And straight away, Pete looked at Patrick with a raised eyebrow that just screamed _“can we?”_  Because really? It was 2015, who actually listened to homophobic people with misspelt signs anymore?

Only the thing that surprised Pete more than Patrick actually agreeing in annoying those idiots was the fact he was the one who grabbed Pete’s jacket and pulled him down for a messy, passionate and not hidden at all kiss. And it was glorious – far better than the shocked outcries that followed, the pink tinge in Patrick’s cold cheek and the giddy laughter that followed them afterwards.

And they were still laughing about it later in the back of the bus like teenagers. Ignoring Andy’s half annoyed half amused look as he kept trying to read his fitness magazine.

 

_#1 Romantically_

It’s kind of an obvious one though, right? Except Patrick’ll argue against this one until the end of the world, claiming that he doesn’t need big, romantic gestures to know Pete loves him because _he knows_ _okay?_ But still, the rosy, pinkish colours his cheeks turn and the amount of sheer joy in his eyes when Pete does pull a romantic stunt makes it worth it.

Like the time Pete took him to a restaurant while they were in Paris and made a dick out of himself when he tried to pronounce some of the menu only for Patrick to correct him and for Pete to, in turn, kiss him before they left in front of everyone because that was one of the best nights of his life.

Or the time, on stage before the rule was invoked again, when Pete started rambling on about how all these little things made Patrick up in between songs at a show and spun it into some well-meaning, deep metaphor. Before striding across the stage and grabbing the already blushing vocalist and fucking kissed him properly like the audience, the rest of the band and the techs weren’t there.  That kiss had been sweet with slightly too much force because of the adrenaline that had both of them stumbling back and romantic because Pete Wentz had turned a five minute gap between songs into a ramble about how much he loved the boots off of Patrick Stump.

The stutter and the hidden, sloppy smile behind a water bottle that Pete had gotten after that had made it worth it.

Or even the kisses in the kitchen after a long (very long night) after a tour when they’ve just got home. When they’re tired and sore as hell and Pete’s trying to remember how to scramble eggs and Patrick’s laughing and swapping kisses for tips on cooking in between mouthfuls of strong coffee as he flips through a month old issue of The Rolling Stone.

And romantic kisses kind of tie in everything else Pete’s learnt throughout the years on kissing a Patrick Stump. Because a romantic kiss shouldn’t a sloppy peck on the cheek that was designed as a joke or somewhere where the other person isn’t comfortable and texting certainly can never substitute the slow sliding of their lips together. It’s romantic as long as he means it and Patrick understands all the emotions bubbling up inside and returns them in full sentiment.

A romantic kiss could be back stage, on stage, in a hotel room when they’re tangled up in each other or in a coffee shop when they’re laughing their asses of at one of Pete’s bad jokes. It’s easy and simple and doesn’t really have any rules and is just impulse and he loves them. Almost as much as he loves Patrick, but just missing out on the number one spot on Pete’s top ten list of things he loves.

As long as Pete can kiss Patrick and mean it, unlike what his younger self tried to convince himself when he sloppily kissed Patrick on purpose to piss him off because he believed he couldn’t have it any other way, then it’s automatically his favourite way to kiss a Patrick Stump. And it’s, no doubt, the favourite way a Patrick Stump likes to be kissed.


End file.
